Locations of visitors to this page Bama Girl In SoCal

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Figuring out this "couple time" thing

My husband was gone for a year. He's back now, and we've moved away from all my friends. I'm stuck here in Virginia with my daughter, who is very demanding of me physically, emotionally, and mentally, and with my husband.
So, I guess my problem is that I don't know how to have couple time anymore. I don't know what to do on the weekend. Nothing sounds fun to me, and we end up staying home all weekend until I am bored out of my mind.
I know I am at fault for this, but I blame everyone else around me. It's tough when you are used to having a circle of friends around you. When you are left with just the one person you swore to spend your life with it can get boring.
I guess people were not meant to lock themselves in a house together for entire weekends. We need our own lives, our own friends, common interests. How do I get there?

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Many Ways Virginia is NOT California

Ahh, California! I miss that state!
Virginia is SO not California. Let me count the ways...
1. No Trader Joe's. Well, there is one an hour away, but who wants to drive an hour there and an hour back to get groceries?
2. Weather. Who knew? I hate rain. I hate humidity. I dislike cold. I dislike heat. I want my perfect San Diego weather back!
3. Slow drivers. The speed limit on the interstate (similar to CA's freeway) is 55! 55 is too slow for an 8 lane road. Also, the police are serious about speeding here, so you can't really go more than 5 over or you'll get a huge ticket. In CA I consistently did 80 on the freeway.
4. Different restaurants. No Chipotle, no Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, no taco shops, etc.
5. The zoo here is obviously not as good.
6. Preschools here have 4 year waiting lists. You are supposed to register for preschool when you go off the birth control pill.
7. No disneyland 90 miles away.
8. Not much of anything in a 90 mile radius.
9. Surprisingly, Virginia is not as military-friendly. Maybe they are sick of us or something. In San Diego, they gave you military discounts almost everywhere you went.
10. All the awesome people who are my friends do not reside in Virginia. That's the hardest one to bear.

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Monday, April 21, 2008

A Year Gone By and I'm on the East Coast

Opposite Coast. Bama Girl in Virginia. Doesn't have the same ring, does it?
Yes, I fought kicking and screaming to stay in California.
No, it's not horrible here on the East Coast, but it rains. A lot.
Today it rained all day long. My backyard looks like a muddy lake with some sprigs of grass poking through.
I don't know anyone yet. My husband goes to work all day, and I am left at home with the wildest terrible 2 year old (well, she's actually not even 2 yet, but don't tell her that) in the world. Wild=whining, crying, screaming, throwing things, hitting me, destroying the house, etc.
So, I'm looking into preschool...already.
Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. I do. She's so funny and so cute. She's smart as a whip and really athletic (where did that come from?)
I'm just not the best mom in the world.
I don't like arts and crafts (too messy!) I don't like to cook healthy meals. I don't like to get down on the floor and play with toys.
I know you are judging me. I know you are rolling your eyes. (I say "you" like there is anyone reading this at all!) It's not something I'm proud of.
Are there some people who are just better mothers naturally? Am I just lazy? Is it wrong to want to be able to take a shower and stay clean for at least a few hours afterwards? Is it so strange to want to speak to an adult?
I think moving 3,000 miles away from all my support has brought on a lot of doubt and uncertainty. I know one thing. I need my friends, and I need my life back!

Friday, April 13, 2007

The Sweetest Times

On Monday, my baby crawled into my lap, cuddled up against my chest ever-so-sweetly, and fell asleep.

I immediately knew something was wrong.

This is the child that won't stop moving for a second. This is the baby who I thought didn't know how to sit up until I realized she was crawling and pulling up to stand. She just never wanted to sit still. What's the point? This is the same munchkin who grabs her shirt and tries to strip in protest every time she is strapped into the high chair, stroller or carseat.

So, I was right. She had a fever of 102.7. After a trip to the Doctor's and some Motrin, we embarked on a fun week of VIRUS LOCKDOWN!

I hate it when my baby is sick because that means that I don't get to see daylight. I don't get to interact with adults, go shopping, go out to eat, go to playgroup, etc. In essence, I am punished because she is sick! It's absolutely miserable.

I don't have anyone else to turn to in times like this. My family all lives thousands of miles away. My husband is currently not home due to his job. My friends don't want to risk catching anything. I am a pariah!

It messes with your head, I tell you! I guess the worst side effect for me is the pity eating. I feel sorry for myself that all my plans were cancelled for the week, so I eat a whole bag of pretzels. I have watched all my Tivo'd shows so I randomly eat a whole frozen dinner that was supposed to be 3 servings. I'm wallowing in my misery and getting fat in the process!

My only outlet is the phone. I find it funny how boring I am, now that I'm a SAHM. My friends are like, "What's new in your life?" I hesitate. Do they want to hear how I conquered my daughter's month-long fight with constipation? Are they interested in the fact that my baby does the funniest thing involving pulling up using the dog as a prop? Do they want to know that I didn't get out of my pajamas all day, even though they have spit up and mashed avocado on them? So, I say, "Oh you know, the same old fun! How are YOU?"

My mom tells me that I need to hire a sitter and just get out. What would I even do? I don't look cute enough to get into any cool places. I don't think I would even be happy going out at night because I wouldn't be able to sleep in the next day. The worst is, after being away from my daughter for a measly hour, I am already insanely lonesome. I miss her. She's napping right now, and I miss her.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Hi, My Name is Bamagirl, and I'm a Bargain-Shopping Addict!

Does anyone else have this problem?
75% off = must-have items

I went to Target today to get some baskets to organize some of the baby's things. I had measurements. I knew exactly what I wanted. Well, on my way to the basket section, I ran into a horde of women, crowding their carts into a corner of the store. What was going on? Then I saw the 75% off sign.

I dove right into the fray. I grabbed some window drapes--they were only $8! I then found a beautiful drapery rod for $8 as well--it was 112 inches long! I snagged a decorative pillow with real feather and down stuffing for only $6. So, now my cart was full, and I was excited. I wheeled through the baby section, saw a clearance rack, and I found a pink hoodie for $2. Score! Then I found some pink velour sweatpants for myself on another clearance rack.

Ok, so I finally made it to the section where the baskets are. Of course, they didn't have the right size. Oh well. So, I went and checked out. I spent $85 on junk I didn't need at all, just because it was on sale. And...I didn't even get what I came for. Ugh.

Sadly, this addiction to Target clearance goes way back. In college, I lived literally right next door to a Super Target. I went every day, and I knew when they marked things down. I bought stuff for every season after the holiday and saved big bucks. This is why my house is full of random crap that I can't get rid of!

I need some serious help. Is there a 12 step program for this? (I actually think there is Shopaholics Anonymous.) I need to start Barginistas Anonymous!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

So, I haven't been posting much lately

I guess I kinda suck at posting. It's just too much trouble. I'd rather waste half my life reading other people's blogs.
This mom thing is tough. I mean, when do I get a break? I think the answer is never. It's endless, sleepless drama.
I've become a shopping whore. I don't buy stuff for myself at all. It's all for the baby. She has more robeez (a baby shoe) than Imelda Marcos. The crazy thing is that she will outgrow all this stuff before she even wears most of it twice. I think I just love buying for her because she's so small and cute and stylish. (I am not small anymore, nor cute, nor stylish)
My dog is starting to show some signs of neglect. She's been stealing the baby's toys and taking them outside to chew them up and bury them. I get so mad at her, but I know she just wants attention. I just don't have any to give anyone else.
Today I was feeling like a rebel, so I wore a skull-and-crossbones T-shirt to mommy-and-me. (Yes, I will hyphenate whenever I choose!) I think the other moms were a little scared of me! Or, maybe they thought I was trying to look like a teeny-bopper! I'm not sure.
This whole mom world is new and interesting. It's like going to college--you have to figure out the new social mores for your new circle of friends. With the other moms, you have to have your baby dressed adorably, you have to own all kinds of baby crap, you have to have the "right" carseat, stroller, diaper bag. It's worse than my college sorority.
I guess life is always evolving, and we all have to figure out our social status over and over. I think this time around, I want to be myself more. We'll see...

Monday, November 06, 2006


I was having a conversation with my friend the other day (yes, a real conversation, not a cyber-one,) and we were both astounded by how many people don't care about this election or the current issues in the world today.
My friend said that she read an article where a guy was saying you should have to pass a test before you would be allowed to vote. It's an interesting concept. It's kinda along the lines of people who say you should have to obtain a license to procreate. You sometimes have to agree.
So, here's to all of you who are going to go out tomorrow and vote! Make sure you are informed and have thought about why you are voting the way you are! Enjoy your freedom as a member of a democratic society!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Oh, Happy Day!

Chick-Fil-A has finally come to San Diego!
The grand opening was today. Don't think I missed it! The baby and a friend and I made our way to the grand opening and received a free stuffed cow. It was marvelous to bite into my first steamy chick-fil-a sandwich while being in CA.
Oh, how I have waited for this day! California is finally coming to it's senses.
Alright, now where is Sonic?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween Time Again!

Happy Halloween Friends!!

Here's a pic of my baby dressed as a lady bug. She's pretty cute if I do say so myself. I'm going as a mom. Ugh. I don't really like my costume, but I'm stuck with it! (hint...it's not really a costume! ahhh!)
I'm one of those people who eats the free candy that people leave out on their desk this time of year.
Sorry, I know that's random, but I did that today. I was at the Vet picking up some medicine for the world's most expensive dog, and there was this bowl of really good candy (not the cheap sugary kind--the good kind--chocolate!) So, I started eating it. Then, the receptionist gave me a bad look. I mean, if you don't want people to eat your candy, don't leave it out in a welcoming bowl. Maybe it was for kids or something...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Life is Precious

I was going to write a post about things that bug me, but then I read my friend's webpage about her husband who recently died after having a bone marrow transplant. She is having a hard time getting on with her life . So, I decided to write a post about the things I hold dear in life.
  1. My baby. (You knew this would be the first on my list, didn't you?) She is so amazingly perfect and pure. She is happy almost all of the time. Her skin is perfectly unblemished. She has never known disappointment or grief or betrayal or heartache. She is a blank slate. I feel like I never want anything bad to ever happen to her. I can't imagine my life without her, and I pray that I do her justice by raising her well.
  2. My husband. I have him home with me for longer than most military wives do. He took a job that requires him to drive 3 hours every day, but he doesn't have to leave us for a while. My husband is a very good father. He was a trooper in the delivery room when I gave birth to our daughter. I don't know what I would do without his strength of conviction and constancy.
  3. My family. I lost two grandparents this year. It's strange how fragile life is. My grandfather died in the room next to me on the night before Easter. We didn't find him until Easter morning when we were ready to go to Church. So, I need to be grateful for every moment with my family because you never know which hug will be your last.
  4. My friends. I have moved more than most people, but that has allowed me to make wonderful friends all over the country. Companions are easy to find, but a true friend is a gem. Some people can see past your quirks and into your soul. I have some friends who can read me so fast it's scary. It's good to have friends who have known you through many stages in your life and can remind you who you really are.
  5. My dog. The love of a dog is a reminder of perfect love. Your dog loves you no matter what. Your dog wants to hang out with you 24/7. Your dog is at the door to greet you when you get home. Your dog never dwells on the past or worries about the future. Your dog lives in the moment. I have an exceptionally loving and friendly dog who entertains me every day.

I notice as I made this list that none of the things I hold dear are things. None of them can be bought with money (except my dog, but she's priceless.) So, hug your baby or spouse or family or friend or dog, and don't delay. Life is precious.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Some things I'm obsessed with lately

Do you get addicted to certain products or things like I do? I start using something and then get totally excited about it and have to watch/use/eat/drink it all the time every day for a while until I get sick of it. Here are my latest obsessions:

1. Reality TV. Here's what I TiVo:
  • Laguna Beach (even though it's not that good this season)
  • Two-A-Days ( I used to teach at the middle school that fed into Hoover High, so I feel a part of that show)
  • Amazing Race (there are 2 girls from Alabama on it this season, and they're still in it)
  • America's Next Top Model (even though Tyra Banks annoys me)

2. Frappacinos. I've already beaten this one to death. They are just soo good!

3. Pomegranate Juice. I make these drinks where I mix half pomegranate juice and half sparkling water. I got the idea from a drink called Izze, but I prefer to make my own.

4. California Pizza Kitchen 5 Cheese and Tomato Frozen Pizza. You can tell I'm a real health nut here. I eat one every other day! They are so good and found in your grocer's freezer for about $5.

5. Lavender scented products. I use lavender scented air freshener, lavender scented dishwashing soap, lavender scented baby wash, lavender scented baby lotion, lavender scented laundry detergent and fabric softener, and lavender sachets. I guess I'm a freak for its calming effects! (When you have a baby, you will take whatever help you can get!) So come to my house instead of spending your hard-earned money on a trip to Provence!

6. MySpace Yes, I know. I'm too old, and I'm not single. I have found a bunch of old friends on here lately, and it's really nice to be part of their life again. There is no other way I would have been reunited with some of these people. Very cool times we are living in!

What are some of your "obsessions" lately? I know you have some too!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Why I miss teaching Middle School

If you have time to make yourself laugh, check out this video of some middle schoolers. Hilarious!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Stay At Home Mommy 101

What the heck do Stay At Home Moms do all day? (yes, 3 months has made me an expert!)
  1. Stay in PJs until mid afternoon or 5 minutes before husband comes home
  2. Forget to eat anything but chocolate or some other non-food
  3. Buy way too much stuff online while baby is asleep
  4. Bundle up baby in jog stroller to walk to Starbucks to get a Venti Decalf Java Chip Frappacino with no whipped cream. This is called exercise even though the Starbucks is only a 1/2 mile away and the frappacino has over 500 calories.
  5. Take baby to lunch with other SAHM friends (where you compare every facet of your child with their child, making sure that your child seems better)
  6. Take baby to grocery store during the weekday where you will see other SAHMs and geriatric people who move very slowly through the aisles. (The SAHMs move slowly because they are savoring their frappacinos and their one trip outside of the house all day)
  7. Have crazy ideas to become a wonderful June Cleaver-type wife and make some big exciting dinner, but in the middle of preparations, baby pitches a fit causing you to abandon dinner and leave a huge mess for husband to clean up when he gets home
  8. Type in ridiculous run on sentences because punctuation and grammar are just too difficult with a baby in your lap
  9. Feel guilty for neglecting dog who used to be most spoiled animal on planet earth
  10. Visit mommy message boards to find out all the new things you need to buy online to make your baby smarter than all the other babies that he or she will one day be in school with
  11. Avoid mirrors (for obvious reasons--stretch marks, extra weight in weird places, spit-up on shirt, lack of any stylish clothes, hairstyle gone with the wind, roots growing out, etc.)
  12. Call old friends and try to catch up, even though you slowly sense you're losing touch with the outside world
  13. The other 23 hours are spent holding/nursing/rocking a screaming infant, who stops and smiles and coos and makes it all worthwhile!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I'm BACK!!

Ok, so I know that most of my readers don't even remember reading my blog. It's been a long time. Sorry!
A few things have happened. I had a baby. Yes, that's right. I'm a mom. She's wonderful! Childbirth was hell--expect a post on that subject soon.
I also quit working to be a stay at home mom. I never really saw that one coming, but these things happen!
I also just turned 30! I'm old! I'm in my 30s now. I can't be young and crazy any longer.
So, that's where I am now--the mother of an adorable 3 month old baby girl!
I have 25 lbs to lose and I have a bad addiction to decalf java chip frappacinos to break.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

It's so Popular to be Prego these days!

I love how it seems like when you are experiencing something, the whole world is experiencing the same thing. When I got married, it was the same year that Jessica Simpson got married. I'm glad my husband and I made it, unlike our fair friends Jess and Nick. She was a much younger bride. I always say that's trouble. I thought I was old at the ripe ole age of 25. Now I think I was a child bride. There's just so much you need to do before you settle down!

So, now I'm pregnant and thrilled to see that it's become very trendy in Hollywood. I guess women have been having babies pretty steadily over the years, but it seems like a big time for famous babies right now. I must say that out of all the prego celebs, my favorite is Gwen Stefani. She makes maternity clothes actually look decent! I think Katie Holmes looks cute, even though she is under the mind-warping powers of Tom Cruise and his Scientology goons. Angelina Jolie looks a little too emaciated to be pregnant. Her arms are scary! She has veins popping out all over the place. It's ok to gain a few, Angie! Gweneth Paltrow looks glowing. She's a real mother-earth type who looks very comfortable carrying around baby Pear or Watermelon or whatever this one's name will be.

I guess I'm in good company. Maybe this will force stores to actually come out with some cuter maternity clothes. I just hope I can get back to my old body as fast as Heidi Klum did. Too bad I'll never get back to what her body looks like now! ;)

Above picture taken from www.pinkisthenewblog.com

Monday, February 27, 2006

I'm back kinda...

Hi blogging friends!
I've missed you. I took a little hiatus. I actually got addicted to a message board for pregnant women due in June. Boring, right? Well, that's been my life lately.
Check out what's happened to my waistline. Yikes! I know! I'm huge!
My husband tells me every day that it looks like my belly has doubled in the past week. It's making falling asleep and staying asleep rather difficult. It feels like I have a 20 lb bowling ball hanging like a pendulum from a few tendons in my abdomen.
I still have 4 more months of this torture.
In the time I've been gone--2 months, I've been busy as a bee planning the baby's room and decorating. I've got 2 baby showers coming up in March and April, and I have to make it through the end of this school year. I have a mad case of senioritis, and I'm not graduating. I'm just moving on to motherhood!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Look What We Bought on Craig's List Yesterday!

It's getting real, folks!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2006--What will it bring?

I'm sitting here, wasting time, while my dog whines because I haven't taken her for her daily 4 mile walk yet. I went to bed at 11:00 last night. I didn't even care that it was New Year's. It didn't help that my husband was working all night. So, I thought I would write some of my goals for 2006 since everyone else seems to be doing it!

For most of my life my new year's resolutions have looked something like this:
  1. Be healthier--eat less, exercise more, lose weight, etc.
  2. Work on my relationship with God--spend more time in prayer, at church, etc.
  3. Try to have a serious, meaningful romantic relationship (before I met my husband)

So, this year, I don't feel like making resolutions. I will make goals. My goals for 2006:

  1. Have a healthy baby and be the best mom I can be
  2. Lose all my baby weight before my husband comes home from his deployment in March/April '07 (I have to plan ahead on this one because right now I am gaining a ton!)
  3. Learn how to cook healthy meals for my family and be a good housewife/stay-at-home mom
  4. Start going to church and getting involved. (We haven't found a church we like yet in CA)

Usually I am actually pretty good at keeping my resolutions. For as many years as I can remember, I have given up sugar for New Years. I usually keep it up until about September. I usually spend the spring and summer losing weight and the fall and winter gaining it. Does everyone do that?

I hope you all have a great 2006! Enjoy your family and friends!! Thanks for being my blogging friends--your blogs put a smile on my face!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Back in SoCal with a Secret

I'm back from my whirlwind Christmas tour of the southeast--Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama in just a week and a half. My husband and I saw both our families, including extended, tons of college friends, and even some high school friends. It was great! I'm glad to be back home though! It is so nice here!
My big news that I've been hiding is that I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby in late June. The first trimester was really, really tough. I barely made it out of bed and the bathroom long enough to go to work, let alone any blogging.
So, I'm feeling better now--thank goodness for the 2nd trimester. While I was home, I bought some maternity clothes because my normal clothes are getting too tight around the waist. It's fun, but scary to see your figure changing. I can't stop the feeling that I'm getting fat, not just growing a baby.
So, if you are any good at math, you would realize that I conceived like the minute my husband came home from over there. We didn't waste any time. That's good though because he'll be going back over there this fall. We timed it pretty perfectly.
So, now my blog might change to soccer mom in socal. Just kidding! I still drive a VW bug, so I have some big changes ahead!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Everyone's Busy, So I Don't Have a Real Excuse

Actually I do have a pretty good excuse for my absence from blogging, but that will be another post for another day. Everyone is so busy this time of year.

For me, this has not seemed like Christmas yet. I put up my decorations, but I haven't bought any gifts. Every house on our street has light displays, but ours is the lone dark house. People probably think we are athiests or nazis or something. For some reason, I can't get into the spirit of the season this year.

I only have one more week of school. I can't believe that. How time flies! I'm looking forward to going home for the holidays. The saddest part is that we can't bring our dog with us. She has to stay here, all alone with the care of a petsitter.

I'm looking forward to spending Christmas in a place where it actually feels like winter. I'll be wearing sweaters and boots and drinking hot chocolate in front of the fire. I'll enjoy going to church and singing the familiar hymns of Christmas like "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" and "O, Little Town of Bethlehem" and "We three Kings" and "Silent Night." I'll be able to see family and friends who I miss desperately.

Isn't it funny how little gifts matter when you grow up? I really could care less what I get from anyone this Christmas. I just want to see people. It sure wasn't that way when you were a kid. Then you got your heart set on something, and you HAD to have it.

I remember one year when I was about 10 years old. I wanted one of those electricity plasma globes that you put your hand on, and it sends lightening to your hand. I told my mom a million times that I wanted one. I guess they were pretty expensive. So, Christmas morning comes. I ran downstairs. There was one gift that was about the right shape. I ripped it open first. My mom said, "are you sure you want to open that gift first?" and I was like, "oh yes!" I was sure I had my plasma globe. Unfortunately, it ended up being one of those plastic Hamster balls that they exercise in. That tells you a lot about the cheapness of my mother. Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

So Thankful!

I am healthy. I have my husband home with me. I have my wonderful dog with me. My family is all alive and well, even all 4 grandparents. Everyone in my entire extended family is still married, no divorces. I have a job and a house to live in. I have more food than I can eat. I live in a free country. I have freedom of religion. I have friends. I live in the most perfect climate on earth. I am in the middle of Christmas decorations--my favorite!
Listing everything I'm thankful for puts my life in perspective. I have no reason not to be ridiculously happy. Thank you God for my blessings that I didn't do anything to deserve!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Feeling Sorry for Myself

It's Thanksgiving week, and yet again, I won't be spending it with family. Sadly, my husband and I couldn't get home again this year because the flights were just too expensive. I have the whole week off from school, but he only gets Thursday and Friday off. So, it made no sense to spend $1200 to go home for 3 days.

I've pretty much decided not to cook. I'm just going to treat it like any other day (and that means we will eat frozen pizza unless my husband decides to cook.) I would love to be one of those Donna Reed types who would whip up a ten course meal even though it's just the two of us. My husband and I have never eaten off our fine china, and we've been married for 3 years. I'm just not domestic. I never manage to cook a square meal. It's a big deal around here if I cook spaghetti. Really, I can't even remember the last time I made that.

I could probably win awards for being the worst homemaker ever. The weird thing is that I grew up helping my mom in the kitchen. When I'm home in her kitchen, I love to cook. I think what I miss is having someone around to talk to while whipping up a fantastic meal. If I had a big family, I would love spending all day in the kitchen.

So, it's a sad thanksgiving at our house this year. Don't take family for granted! When you move far away and can't get home to see them, you will really miss it! Give yours a hug for me!

Friday, November 18, 2005

More football !

In honor of tomorrow's big game: The IRON BOWL--Auburn vs. Alabama and some other games of note around the country, here's a delightful forward that my brother sent me. Enjoy!

How Many SEC Students Does It Take To Screw In a Lightbulb........
At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more toexplain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.
At GEORGIA: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone anengineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.
At FLORIDA: it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figureout how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA: it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce abouthow The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at anNCAA investigator.
At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks andthree to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.
At KENTUCKY: it takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss howmuch brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE: it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two tobuy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talkabout how much they hate Alabama.
At MISSISSIPPI STATE: it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two tobuy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".
At AUBURN: it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talkabout how they did it better than at Bama, and fifty to get drunk androll toomer's Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA: it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 todiscuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decentfootball team.
At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.

Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.

Women's AccessoriesNORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, anda fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.

Stadium SizeNORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

FathersNORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus DecorNORTH: Statues of founding fathers.SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming QueenNORTH: Also a physics major.SOUTH: Also Miss America.

HeroesNORTH: Rudy GulianiSOUTH: Archie & Peyton Manning

Getting TicketsNORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campusand purchase tickets.SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office oncampus and put name on waiting list for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night GameNORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, becausethey have classes on Friday.SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see thefew hung over students that might actually make it to class.

ParkingNORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus forgame parking.SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday forthe weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes overto where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and waveto the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcastfrom their campus.

TailgatingNORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to localradio station with truck tailgate down.SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cookingaccompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who come overduring breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.Getting to the

StadiumNORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes thestate's third largest city.

ConcessionsNORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot onit, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is PlayedNORTH! : Stands are less than half full, and less than half of themstand up.SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First ScoreNORTH: Nothing changes.SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male)NORTH: "Nice play."SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

Commentary (Female)NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs."

AnnouncersNORTH: Neutral and paid.SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with atear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the GameNORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes tothe nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for nextweek's game.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Alabama Football

Being an SEC football fan is a little tough when you live in San Diego. No one out here seems to understand that Saturdays in the fall are meant to be spent watching football.
Here's the schedule:
  1. Wake up and turn on ESPN gameday to watch Kirk Herbstreet and Lee Courso make thier picks.
  2. Start watching your first game either on ESPN or CBS or some other channel.
  3. Flip around to the other channels to check out the other games.
  4. Then you watch your team's game. This is a very serious time. You can't go to the bathroom or take phone calls until halftime. I usually turn on every TV in the house to the game, so if I am forced to leave the room, I can still hear the game in surround-sound wherever I go in the house.
  5. After your team wins or loses, you watch other important games, and you cheer against your team's rivals.
  6. At the end of the night, you watch the recap shows on ESPN and think about that one play that would have changed the outcome of the game if your team lost. If your team won, you call all of your friends and talk about what a great game it was.
  7. On Sunday, you go to church and talk smack about your team, unless they lost, when you act very contrite.

Now, of course, this shedule is slightly different if you are actually going to a game. If you are in that lucky position, then you wake up at the crack of dawn to go to campus and find a parking spot. You find your tailgate or move around to various tailgates and socialize until it's about an hour before the game. Then you make your way to the stadium. You buy a shaker (pom-pom) to use during the game to emphasize all the chants and cheers that you will be singing along with every other person in the 85,000-capacity-crowded-stadium.

Ok, so yesterday was a bad, bad day for me. Alabama, who was ranked #3 in some polls, #4 in others, lost thier first game yesterday to LSU. I had a bad feeling all week. I knew they were looking tired, and they had lost 2 key players to broken bones. I was predicting a loss, but hoping for a win. The first half made me believe that maybe they could do it. They went into the locker rooms 10-0. LSU must have had a come-to-Jesus halftime speech because they came out a different team. The game went into overtime, and Alabama lost. So depressing.

Then, to top it all off as a horrible night, Auburn beat Georgia. Alabama fans don't just hate Auburn, they want Auburn to suffer. They will cheer for any team against Auburn. Auburn feels the same way about Alabama. If you live in the state of Alabama, you must take sides. You will have friends who like the other team, but you won't watch football with them. Some people marry a fan of the other school, but usually one or the other isn't die-hard about it. In Alabama we call this a mixed marriage.

So, I went to bed feeling miserable. My husband reminded me that this is how he feels every Saturday. He's a Mississippi State fan. They always lose. A true fan stays with their team through rain and sunshine. So, roll tide, roll!!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Why am I so obsessed with Laguna Beach?

There's nothing I love more than watching other people's lives. Why is that? Why am I so fascinated by the trials and tribulations of people that I don't know? I think that's becoming the problem. I'm starting to believe I do know them. Ahh, the allure of reality TV.

Everyone can remember the super-popular-yet-a-total-bitch-girl from their high school. Laguna pegged this girl perfectly with Kristin. I just happened to be that girl's sidekick. I was the Alex H of my high school. I was this girl's tag-a-long. I used her to get to the popular table in the lunchroom, to get invited to some popular events, to be able to talk to the cute guys vying to get next to her. She used me for those times when you have to hang out with other girls.

No other girl in her right mind would have put up with the constant narcissism, the put-downs, the evil, the embarrassment that came along with being her sidekick. She constantly put me down, and I would bounce right back like a boxing bag to be her friend.

Of course we didn't stay in touch after high school. I'm sure she found someone else to use in college. I continued my sidekick ways in college, but the girls never had quite the evil bitchiness of my high school worst enemy/best friend.

One time when I was back home for the summer, I ran into this girl. She told me that she was dating one of the only guys she hadn't noticed (landed) in high school. This guy happened to be my huge senior year crush. She made sure to rub it in that I used to be obsessed with him and now she was dating him.

Time went by, and then I received the wedding invitation. Somehow she had tricked this guy into marrying her. Like a masochist, I went to the wedding. I went armed with a true friend from high school. It was a veritable high school reunion. I really felt sad for the groom. I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into.

Something good did come of my attending this blessed event though. It was at that wedding that my true friend from high school decided she should set me up with her boyfriend's best friend from high school. The rest is history--we're married.

I'd like to think that I've outgrown my sidekick ways. I think I choose friends wisely now. But, I still love to watch Laguna Beach and think about all the small characters--the ones whose names come on the screen with a qualifier, like, "Alex H. --Kristin's friend" That was me in high school. Maybe if I could go back and have a talk with myself I would say, "Be your own person, not a sidekick." I'd be an LC!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Our costumes

I ended up going to the party as an angel. It was pretty generic. My 2 friends were really cute though. One went as a witch and the other as Minnie Mouse. Minnie Mouse went out and bought white shoes and spray-painted them yellow. She also sewed felt circles on her dress to look like Minnie. It was very cute!

Sorry about the whited out faces! I wanted to protect the identity of the innocent! haha.

Don't you love Halloween?

Friday, October 28, 2005

What are you going to be for Halloween?

I have 2 parties to go to this weekend, and I have no costume! What should I be? In years past I've been a french maid, a Greek goddess, and a swimmer (lacking creativity.) What are you going to be this year? Do you have any suggestions for me?

Friday, October 21, 2005

Headed to San Fran for the weekend

My husband and I are heading to San Francisco for the weekend. We decided against Cabo. We're excited because neither of us has been to San Fran before. We are going to look like total tourists with our map and camera, but who cares?
Any last minute must-see's?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Life is full of distractions

My blogging has taken a backseat to my other intrests lately.
I had forgotten how different it is to live with someone. I haven't been able to get on my computer in the last couple of days because my husband always seems to be on it. I know there is a lot to catch up on after being away for 7 months; I'm sure I'd be an internet junkie too.
My house looks like a tornado hit it--clothes, drinks, stuff everywhere! I can hardly remember the clean oasis that I had a mere week ago.
My fridge that was so stocked when he came home is now barren of all edible food and beverage. It's amazing how long I used to go in between grocery visits. No longer!
It's been a week since my husband came home. Despite all the inconveniences of living with someone, I would choose this life over my solitary one any day because of all the benifits.
Some of these benefits include:
  • having someone to cuddle with in bed
  • having someone to talk to over dinner
  • being able to discuss Gilmore Girls without making a phone call to a friend
  • having an excuse to order pizza or eat junk food
  • waking up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and rolling over to see him and feeling safe
  • having someone who actually knows how to hang up a hammock
  • having someone to share said hammock
  • being able to talk about my day at school to someone who always backs me up
  • getting a hug every morning and night and a few times in between
  • hiking with a person instead of just a dog
  • being able to go out to dinner or a baseball game
  • feeling content to just hang out because you are hanging out together

Thursday, October 06, 2005

He's finally home!

My husband came home this morning from a 7 month deployment. Oh, what a glorious day! I told him that today has been one of the happiest days of my life. I have laughed all day long as he told me funny stories from his time over there. I've enjoyed every minute I've been able to hold his hand or look into his eyes. I've been sneaking hugs and kisses all day! It's great! We had a romantic dinner at Georges at the Cove in La Jolla to top off our perfect day together. We watched the sunset and toasted our life together. It felt like a second wedding day. I'm on a total high! He just gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep. I'm so happy!!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Skinny Perfect Girls

These are the skinny perfect girls and this is the host and me

Do you ever go to a party, walk in the door, and think, "uhoh, I'm not going to fit in here"?

That happened to me last night. I went to a costume party--cowboys and indians. I knew I would only know a couple of people there, but I figured, hey, I'm social, no problem! What I didn't account for was the fact that I would be in the company of the most unbelievably perfect bodies this side of the silver screen. I lost all self-esteem the moment I saw them--the skinny perfect girls.

I had put thought into my outfit. I braided my hair like an Indian, wore tourquoise and beads. I thought I looked pretty cute. That is until I saw the skinny girls who had made thier own outfits (and they looked like Indians out of the Fredricks of Hollywood catalogue). I kept watching this one girl's stomach all night--transfixed. It didn't move. She sat down; she danced; she leaned over--it stayed taught. That's not normal!

Another thing...I didn't have the right footwear. Every girl at this party had the shoe of the season--boots. You know the boots I'm talking about--boots that are tight and suede with strings tying around the leg, meant to be worn over skinny jeans. Well, these girls were all wearing the boots with miniskirts or daisy dukes, and it was hot. I was wearing flip flops and jeans.

I ended up talking to people I knew and meeting some new people. The host was his usual friendly master-of-ceremonies self, which made everyone comfortable. One of the skinny girls was actually really nice and tried to get everyone at the party involved in the fun.

I learned from this experience that if I get invited to another costume party I need to go all out! Where's my sewing machine? Next time I'll be prepared!

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